Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right: American Life in Columns

Product Information

Duh,” says Peter. “Old, retired grandmas garden, Hank. Not strapping hot dudes like us. It’s shit like this that keeps you from getting laid, you know.”

He’s my son,” Erik says and it’s a statement in his mouth but a question, a burning question, in his eyes and Peter has this horrifying thought that Mom will say no, that Peter is some product of a one night stand or some shit. I am the last person to judge you for drowning your emotional problems in alcohol,” Charles points out as the elevator doors open. “But no, I’m not angry at you. Come and eat.” Peter, why don’t you make us some sandwiches,” Charles says hastily. “The normal way, if you please. No need to break any records today.” The commercial’s a small example of why self-proclaimed progressives fall short of the feminist mark, too. If you’re all hipster and edgy and outré, then that means pushing the envelope relentlessly and hyper-sexualizing everything and being casual and mordant about things like consent or jokes about rape. Come on, women, just laugh along with it! You’d only be a killjoy, a prude, or, in one of the more bizarre lexicographic political twists of the last two decades, judged “sex-negative” if you don’t. And heaven forbid you get called that! This issue has become so severe on the left that some members, such as Kyrsten Sinema and Tulsi Gabbard, have chosen to leave the Democratic Party. This could be a new way forward, with a mass exodus from the traditional parties. However, this will require more than only a few people leaving - it needs to be a real movement.

For a long, tense moment Charles and Raven watch each other. Then Charles sets the trowel down and slowly opens his arms. Raven takes off down the lawn in a dead sprint like a goddamn velociraptor and Peter blurs to safety behind a tree without even thinking about it because something about her just screams dangerous, like those super poisonous rainforest frogs. He figures Charles can take care of himself. But tellingly, the funniest segments are away from politics: a straight-up observational routine about intrusive train announcements (admittedly inspired by Grant Shapps’ vow to stamp them out) and the over-excitable hype of sports commentators. Simon Evans and David Mitchell may have performed the gold standard routines on these topics, but Forde makes his takes fresh and funny.

Cause I threw up on your other pair,” she says, setting the box on the counter and offering Peter a perfect, unobscured view of her breasts in a push up bra.I know.” He glances over at the twisted metal goop lying on the ground. “So, was there any particular reason why you were pointing a gun at my son’s head? I know how annoying he can get, but that’s a little overkill, don’t you think?” Well . . . true. Charles loves living in dramatic mystery, like a grandma who watches too many soaps. He drags himself from the warm embrace of his bed and scrubs a hand through his wild hair. Charles waits for him by the door and escorts Peter downstairs in surprising silence. Peter glances over at him as they ride down the elevator.